“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

– Brene Brown

I recently watched the movie “Thank you for your service.” It’s based on a true story about a group of Veterans who come back home from the war struggling with PTSD. I went into the movie knowing full well that it would tear me up.

So why would I do that? Why would I intentionally subject myself to the emotional struggle you are about to see?

Not long after the movie ended, while in tears, I shot the video below.

I didn’t plan on doing this ahead of time. I decided to turn on my camera a few minutes into my pain to share the experience with you.

As you will see, I don’t have a fancy mic or camera in this video. It was shot on my laptop, so please forgive the audio and video quality. I only shot this because I felt it might offer some value for anyone suffering with PTSD, depression, anxiety, anything at all. It’s very different to speak about these things while you are experiencing them as opposed to reflecting on them later on from a more positive, empowered and rational state. 

I didn’t know what I would say when I turned on the camera, but I thought that the kinds of insights offered from being inside the hurt could help you or someone you know who is suffering right now.

There is immense beauty and power in infiltrating the darkest corners of our soul. I shot this to let you know that even if you are in the midst of your own hell right now, those demons DO NOT define you! I promise you, you can find bliss through them.

It was very hard for me to shoot this and even as I write this, I feel a deep sense of fear sharing this publicly. This is definitely my most raw and vulnerable video that I have ever shared with anyone.

I only hope it will be of value to you…

I understand full well that this is a very sensitive subject. So, if there is anything I say in this article or in the video that upsets you, please forgive me, that was not my intention. I cannot relate to your pain, I can only empathize with it. We all wrestle with our own demons. The battles we fight every day are our own to fight. My goal with this video is only to expose you to the possibility of a different kind of weapon.

Here’s the truth: I have not done much. There are A LOT of people who have suffered through a great deal more than I have and are far more courageous than I could ever be. I know many such people. I am no hero, no PhD, no expert or guru. I am just in the process of learning and I only want to share what I find in my journey. 

I believe that when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, it creates the space for others to be the same. This lets us know that we are not alone in our pain. We are all on this voyage together, as one!

By sharing this video with you, I hope it helps you engage your own demons and bring them to the foreground.

It is only through our demons that we find the doorway to our divinity. For as Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

In my next video, I will bring more structure to it 🙂 while sharing the research, lessons, and key takeaways about the true nature of “trauma” and our mental “ailments” so that we may all find the growth that lies within them.

If you or someone you know is suffering with PTSD, depression, anxiety, fear, stress, anything! PLEASE feel free to email me at akshay@fearvana.com.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!